The Eternalist

Trials and Tribulations of Arguing in Relationships

2012-03-02T11:34:00.002-05:00

Every morning I wake up to things like this. Whatever gay morning I may have been having (I’m reading Francoise Sagan, everything is gay and thus joyous in A Few Hours of Sunlight), is instantly marred by the unending battles being waged over a woman’s right to choose and the privacy of her body and her health in the USA. This, coupled with the mountains of work I bury myself under, are the

Valentine's Day Realism

2012-02-15T14:17:00.001-05:00

I added a new blog to my Links of Love (below, right hand side) called Crappy Pictures. I love this blog. It’s written by a mother of two children and illustrated by funny albeit quite crappy pictures. Hence the title. I found it through Caro from four under 4 (plus two) who also writes a fantastic mother blog (I’ve added her too). I’m mentioning both these blogs to you because they have

Chris Brown Performed At The Grammys - And He Got A Standing Ovation?

2012-02-14T12:54:00.002-05:00

On Sunday, Chris Brown performed at the Grammys. With all that has been written about this horrible event, I felt I didn’t need to contribute. And then, the fallout began. First, this article appeared. Then the response appeared here. Then a young woman on Facebook called these women stupid and said that they brought back women’s rights by a century. Then a guy said that these were just

Komen, Planned Parenthood, the GOP, Obama and Ellen. In A Nutshell.

2012-02-09T11:56:00.003-05:00

If you’ve glanced South in the past few months (or West for everyone else) you might have caught a whiff of bad air. Maybe you’ve had a bout of nausea at the mention of American politics, and frankly, I don’t blame you. It leaves a ghastly taste in your mouth. Especially if you are a woman. A few days ago I asked Michelle Obama how she felt about waking up every day to white men waging

Customer Service in Toronto - Really?

2012-01-24T15:07:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about Customer Service and tipping recently. Two things happened. The first occurred when I went to the hairdressers. I always go to Ashleigh at Civello’s on Queen. She’s amazing. She may not be the priciest, most experienced there, but she knows my hair, knows me and is exceptional when it comes to going out of her way to making me feel appreciated. Even when

The Thing About Energy (and relationships)

2012-01-17T15:29:00.001-05:00

I find it strange when people begin to speak about energy levels. I have a friend of mine who once put her hands a few centimetres above mine, told me to shut my eyes and asked if I could feel the energy between us. Um. No. I could not. Unfortunately, my previous disregard for the wide and wonderful world of energies has been completely turned upside down within a recent conversation

Choosing Your Choices

2012-01-15T15:11:00.002-05:00

I've been really lax in writing on my blog for the past couple of weeks, mainly because new years are full of new projects, and yours truly has taken a couple under her wing. These wings will soon need expanding if all that is going to continue. Anyway, I still wanted to write about something that has been occupying a lot of my thoughts recently, it being the new year and with resolutions

2012: All About Taking Responsibility

2012-01-04T21:33:00.002-05:00

If you've moved out of your house today, you can’t have missed the slew of articles on New Year’s resolutions. And they are the same as ever: myriad prose on how to lose weight, quit smoking, spend more time with the kids, etc. Have you bothered to read any of them? Probably not. They’re boring and repetitive. So listen, I only have one suggestion for the New Year: Make 2012 the year of

I Am Trying To Find God

2011-12-23T11:58:00.002-05:00

I am trying to find God. I think. That is such an awkward way of beginning a post, but it’s the only way I found to express what I’m trying to do. Let me tell you, in a big city with the constant of distractions, it is one of the most difficult things I’ve tried to do. But I feel I’m at the stage where so many things are working well for me, but something inside is not sitting quite

Victoria Secret Models and Your Body

2011-12-13T21:52:00.002-05:00

Apparently my perception is skewed because I think that Karlie Kloss looks great in this picture. Or maybe its because I love that she looks toned and defined and that at 5'11 and pushing 105lbs, I understand that her limbs look differently than mine. What's all the uproar about, I wonder. Why did Franca Sozani pull this picture from the recent Vogue Italia covershoot? That's Karlie's job:

Depression in the Workplace

2011-12-08T21:53:00.001-05:00

A few days ago at work, we learned that a young man’s wife, working in the IT department, had miscarried. A few hours later, she had died. I’m not sure why he’s now writing us all to say he’s okay, butI understand. Those words: “I’m okay” are like a translucent barrier between reality and what people expect. There’s no socially prescribed way to say “No, I’m in a hell hole and about to break

How Social Media Can Get You a Job

2011-11-28T19:11:00.001-05:00

Today I began a new job. I know what you're thinking, another job?! No. I've dropped some but consolidated the rest. It's a great position with a big company, but its so new I'm not going to tell you just yet. What I will tell you is that beginning this job has certified what I know about social media: it should be one of your primary concerns in today's job market and can be an amazing tool

Ambition: Competing on an Unequal Playing Field

2011-11-14T22:41:00.001-05:00

I wonder if ambition and being a woman is connected. My best friend tells me that some of the hardest times are as a black man, consistently having to prove yourself in every walk of life. I can imagine it must be the same for many marginalized groups: where your voice is not only unheard, but also ignored. Your work and actions are taken for granted and you are dismissed on the slightest of

What To Do When an Ex Gets Married

2011-11-12T08:47:00.001-05:00

I've been spending a few days in Quebec city visiting a close friend of mine. She lives in a beautiful old apartment with her boyfriend near the Plaines d'Abraham. Life in Quebec is sweet: it reminds me so much of Europe. We all went to dinner at what is likely one of the best sushi restaurants I've ever been to: Kimono. And invited an old flame of mine, someone I'd dated nearly eight years ago

The Uglification of Society

2011-11-09T14:58:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you've noticed it. The uglification of society, that is. Just a minute ago, a waitress came to clean the side table between myself and another traveller at the Porter Lounge Airport and although it was all her leftovers this waitress was cleaning up, my neighbour couldn't be bothered to lift her head to say thank you. I said it for her. On the subway today, I watched in

The Personhood Amendment and Why It Will Kill You

2011-11-07T10:53:00.002-05:00

The world population recently hit 7 billion. Funny story: when I was in Swaziland, King Mswati III gave a speech at the UN Population Fund Ceremony and lauded on how great it was that we were developing at such a phenomenal speed, and how he couldn't wait until we reached 10 billion to celebrate again. ...Uhhh, no. You could see the UN people become parched and turn green. 7 billion.

A Racist Halloween

2011-11-03T18:01:00.001-04:00

I have no idea what it's like to be a black woman. But my best friend is black and no, I don't love her because I don't feel spicy enough. I'm spice incarnate on my own. And I can sympathize on a lot of issues. And I'm glad that I live in Toronto where racism isn't as blatant as it could be. Hello NY, I'm talking to you. Oh and Brussels too. And yes, Italy you're high on the list. Still, I

Can You Have It All?

2011-10-31T16:40:00.001-04:00

When I returned to Toronto from overseas, I quickly undertook a million projects. I became a writer for YYZ Living, a luxury fashion magazine. I resumed personal training part time at a gym in the city while growing my personal business again to private clients. I worked a few days a week as a press writer and brand representative for a high-end jewellery designer. I volunteer a day of work at

My Horrible Michael Kors Customer Service Experience

2011-10-28T11:48:00.002-04:00

I walked into Michael Kors yesterday to get my beautiful new watch resized. I left three minutes later feeling the utmost shock. Not only was I greeted rudely and with disdain, but the store clerk actually rolled her eyes at me and spoke to me in this sarcastic and disgusted tone. I will never be shopping at Michael Kors again. And now I'm writing this to all of you and you will know that

Getting Old(er): Seniors and Fitness

2011-10-27T11:18:00.000-04:00

I love working with the elderly. Or seniors. Who knows what the politically correct term is these days, so we'll go with seniors. The feeling remains the same. I have two new private clients who live in a beautiful apartment in Yorkville and are well into their eighties. They're fabulous. I love hearing the stories and providing company and just being around seniors and helping them out.

Being a Perfectionist and Specializing are the Keys to Success. Right?

2011-10-25T15:40:00.003-04:00

Everything that you do that is not towards a specific goal is a waste of time... right? Well, not really. In fact, being amazing at one specific thing, or specializing - being a perfectionist - isn't always the best. Mainly it means you can't move around the way you want. It also means you might never be expendable, because the company will always need you - on the other hand, your job might be

Find Your Happy Place

2011-10-22T10:59:00.000-04:00

Just slide When I heard from my editor that she wanted the whole article re-written as per a suggestion I had originally made in a completely different vein, and discarding the research and writing she had previously requested of me, I almost threw the phone across the bus. Freelancing is not an easy job, and it's made tougher still by editors who don't seem to know what they want, and

This Is Why You're Fat (and what to do about it)

2011-10-17T17:03:00.002-04:00

It's been about a month since I spoke to you about my need to lose weight. A month later I find that if anyone wants to lose weight, they should really just go to Africa. I kid you not: it was all fresh, locally produced goods. I've never tasted eggs so delicious anywhere else in the world. It was an overdose of veggies, normal sized un-medicated chickens, fruits and the odd protein shake. We

How to Be Sick at Work

2011-10-11T14:00:00.003-04:00

Here's a tip to all companies out there: if one of your workers is sick, but they are a hard working, well earning, respected part of your company, don't ever call them out on being sick. They will not appreciate it. And they will become resentful. I think it's time for companies to stop treating their employees like children. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I think its Best

Jobs, Salaries and Women

2011-10-05T09:36:00.004-04:00

Not a stripper I walked into my travel writing class and was the last of about seven women to sit down. No men in sight. I swallowed hard. I firmly believe in supporting women, but reality is that I wish there were men in that class. Because men still hold much of the power and much of the money, so I want to be where they are. I want to have those jobs, or at least be around people with

Interviews: The Waiting Game

2011-10-03T12:41:00.001-04:00

I wish I had an editor. I recently published a review of the Milan Fashion Shows and I messed up Gucci's chief woman's name. I spelled it incorrectly, thinking I'd go back and look it over, but I didn't. At least, not as carefully as I might have hoped. And now its a published piece on fashion where the writer (me) doesn't even know how to spell Frida Giannini. How embarrassing. I wish I

Dreamland Apparel: Fashion Week in Review

2011-09-29T11:16:00.000-04:00

In the past few weeks, New York and Milan both held their Spring/Summer 2012 Fashion Weeks. There were puzzling collections by some big names that underwhelmed, an overuse of color and prints, and an amalgamation of textures. Fortunately, some designers dazzled. Find out which at Dreamland Apparel by clicking on the links below. Paris is next! New York Fashion Week Milan Fashion Week

You Should Use MyMemories (Because You Will Forget)

2011-09-23T11:51:00.000-04:00

My best friend and I are really close. Let's call her T. Now, whenever I speak about T, you'll know whom I'm speaking of. T and I are very close. We're in her kitchen. The man who was a father to her for most of her life just passed away. We're talking about books. I say, remember that book? She says, oh yeah that book. I say, I just read it in Berlin. She says, yeah that was a great book.

The Blame Game

2011-09-16T13:19:00.000-04:00

I hate death. I mean, theres no situation thats going to make you like it, but death really is burdensome. It's a heavy affair. Everyone experiences it differently. I hate the blame that goes on after it. Or after any serious incident for that matter. Blaming yourself, blaming others, others blaming you. Family feuds are awful. Sometimes you just have to forgive and accept that you can't hold

Wal-Mart Decides Women Can Have it All. Sort Of. (Children Not Included)

2011-09-14T11:18:00.003-04:00

Wal-Mart is finally catching up with, well, something. After being brought in a class-action lawsuit before the Supreme Court in the United States by a consortium of women claiming unfair treatment in the workplace based on sex, the oligarchical company has decided to recognize that most of its clientele is female, that its associates are predominantly female and its worker base is largely, you

We're All Crazy - But How Much is Acceptable?

2011-09-13T12:34:00.001-04:00

We're all a little crazy. My best friend and I have a term for it, we call it jumping fences. Oprah calls it jumping on a couch. If you've ever jumped a fence to find someone in a university football game with ten thousand people in the stadium, you're crazy. If you've ever jumped a patio fence to follow a person you gave your number to but who never called, you're crazy. The thing is,

September 11th, 2001: Ten Years Later, Moving from I to We.

2011-09-12T11:09:00.000-04:00

When I think back to where I was on September 11th 2001, I wince at the memory: in highschool, barely turned 17, and my then-boyfriend Steve, told me that two planes had hit the World Trade Centres. "What are those?" I asked. Ouch. A year away from University and I didn't know what the World Trade Centres were? Embarrassing. If anything, however, 9/11 stoked the passion I had for the world of

Survival of the Fittest: How Not To Run Out of Credit and Pay Your Debt

2011-09-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

I go upstairs this morning to find my mother preparing a leg of lamb. I am one of those twenty-somethings you've read me go on about that goes back to live with their parents, and you know I think its a good idea. Especially if you're a bit lost - which is also a good idea. The lamb is going to be delicious, because my mother is an amazing cook. She covers it with greek yogourt and stuffs it

The Job Market is Horrible. Get Lost.

2011-09-01T11:16:00.001-04:00

Right now, the US is in a horrible job market. Whats worse is that recent graduates, who spent the last 20+ years of their lives working towards the promised goal of a great job after graduation are finding that those jobs are far gone. Harvard and Yale are no longer the promised land. And now we know that going to law school will only bring you debt and unemployment. And you're going to be

I've Gained Weight. Now What?

2011-08-31T08:04:00.001-04:00

No one wants to gain weight. But if youre already fit, the weight goes on much better, and adapts to your body. Thank goodness, because with two weeks in Europe after a month of not working out in Africa, I put on six pounds. I was swimming in a lake just outside of Berlin, and I know that I feel most in my element when Im in water. Which is perhaps why Ive always wanted a boat. Some people

Friends are Important. But Sex is More Important.

2011-08-27T09:17:00.001-04:00

I call my best friend: "Hi." "Hi." "Its me." "Yeah." Then we might cry. We cried before. And we'll do it again. We cry across the oceans because when someone is diagnosed with 3 types of cancer, terminal just comes along with it. Because leukemia can kill someone 3 days after the diagnosis. Because relationships fail. Because sometimes you have to let things go. But those friendships across

How to Leave Any Relationship Gracefully

2011-08-15T08:46:00.001-04:00

It's my last day of work today. There's something about leaving that always evokes in me a rapid surge of knots and tears to my head. Not a pretty sight, especially not in the morning meeting where everyone tells you how they're going to miss you and you can't help but say the exact same thing. Leaving is an integral part of change. It's part of growing. You can't stay in one place forever,

Dreamland Apparel - Birthday Presents for your Lady Love

2011-08-14T07:09:00.002-04:00

Taken from the very amazing Dreamland Apparel. Check out their blog here. This past weekend I celebrated my birthday by eating fresh prawns on the beach in Mocambique, and dancing all night in a pair of Balmains. Since everyone has birthdays, and you’ve probably not noticed the many times she’s said she wants the new Tom Ford perfume or tacked pictures of that perfect bag on the fridge,

How to Get Good At Talking About Bad Experiences

2011-08-10T06:17:00.000-04:00

I remember a summer between the time I worked for UNICEF and the time I worked for HPCR International and Harvard. Really, it was on a project linked up with Harvard, but its cool that I can say that I worked for Harvard. But that summer was a horrible summer. I was unemployed and living in Quebec city with one of my best friends. I had plans to get back to Europe for a few months and was

I Am So Angry (But You'd Never Know)

2011-08-03T03:51:00.002-04:00

I want to say that I am okay. In fact, when people ask me if I'm okay, I say yes! Cheerfully, full smile. The English language can only go so far. Listen, I am not okay. I am very very angry and hurt. But I dont know how to describe exactly what I'm feeling so I stay quiet. Which completely goes against what I wrote here. So, I spoke with my friend. That's a good thing to do, by the way,

Lessons From a Violent Mugging

2011-08-01T07:01:00.000-04:00

As a woman you find out pretty quickly that every situation can depressingly be cut down to comments about your body, your looks, your femininity. You also quickly realize that this is still popular in the workplace, no matter what the legal codes are. What I bet you didn't know quite so well is that every harmful situation you're in can quickly dissolve into a rape. Lucky you. I learned that

The Only Way Out is Through

2011-07-27T09:47:00.000-04:00

So last weekend, Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London apartment. She'd been battling with heavy drug and alcohol addiction for years. And of course, we all know that we shouldn't judge anyone's misfortunes because we have no idea what kind of demons they are facing - whether real or imagined. Remember: be kind, because everyone is fighting their own battles. I think that some of the

Dreamland Apparel: Gender F**cking Fashion

2011-07-25T12:24:00.000-04:00

This week in fashion at Dreamland Apparel - the latest menswear Paris collections and the use of gender-morphing in the clothes, the ads, the shows. While race still lags so far behind, messing around with gender is fashion's supposedly avant-garde, yet really quite safe way, of pushing the envelope on what constitutes menswear/womenswear. When you have a body like a hangar... you can wear

Amy Winehouse - The Final Frame

2011-07-23T14:05:00.000-04:00

Amy Winehouse, 27 yrs, was found dead at her house today. She was one of my favorite artists and an overall absolutely incredible musician and singer, someone who wrote about pain, love and loss in a way that was raw, with a brilliant, painful clarity. Love is a losing game - I hope you've found that peace you're looking for. My heart breaks for you. In loving memory. C.

Things You Should Already Know about Sex, Culture and the Workplace

2011-07-20T10:08:00.001-04:00

I know my posting has been erratic, but I've been working on something quite big at work - meaning my blog has taken a back seat. I hate when this happens because I feel like I'm letting my readers down. I also have a ton of topics swirling about my head and I dont know what to do with them; I get frustrated if I lose them. So I have a moleskin where I write it all down. Thats a lie. I have about

Self-Discipline is all about Happiness, Sort of...

2011-07-12T07:56:00.002-04:00

Intense look not included. I re-read my posts on focus, consistency and finding what works for you and what I really should have written on is self-discipline. Because thats the thing that we all need more of, that we envy in others, the thing we want badly but can be physically painful to get. Listen, I know this. I have no trouble getting to the gym every day and squatting more than you

How to Lose Weight, Get Fit, Pack on Muscle, Part 3

2011-07-07T05:27:00.002-04:00

Apologies for not posting so much in the past few days; I've been swamped at court. Prepping legal briefs and assisting trials is tough stuff - but rewarding, at least. So let's conclude the Get fit, lose weight, pack on muscle series. We've spoken about: 1. Consistency (stick to it! stop complaining! You can't lose 30lbs in a week!) 2. Everybody is different (so you need to find what works for

Dreamland Apparel: A Burst of Color

2011-07-01T05:11:00.000-04:00

For your weekly fashion update from Dreamland Apparel, I discuss the necessity of color in your wardrobe - especially during the summer months and in light of the very loud and exuberantly colored Paris Collections 2011-2012 which were awash in spectacular rainbow shades. If your wardrobe resembles the latest fashion line from a funeral parlor or closely follows the paint palette of your office

How to Lose Weight, Get Fit, Pack on Muscle: Part 2

2011-06-30T05:37:00.000-04:00

Pro-athletes and their very different bodies. So we spoke about the need for consistency. But what are you going to be consistent at? You've got to find out. Let's start with some talk on bodies. My sister has an awesome body. After two kids and heading towards 40yrs old, she has a killer physique. Daunting shoulders, sexy hamstrings, taught bum and a six-pack to boot. My sister is a hottie

The Most Important Secret to Weight Loss (and basically, everything)

2011-06-26T05:48:00.000-04:00